
Distinctive Voice Therapy & Wellness PLLC
Sheila Heard, LCPC, NCC

Don’t Get Emotional Over What You Can’t Control: A Mental Health Guide
Sep 24
2 min read
0
1
0
Life is full of uncertainties, surprises, and challenges. No matter how hard we try, there will always be things beyond our control, other people’s opinions, unexpected life events, the past, and even the weather. Yet, many of us get stuck in a cycle of stress, frustration, and anxiety because we let these uncontrollable factors dictate our emotions. The truth is simple: you can’t control everything, but you can control how you respond.
Why We React Emotionally to the Uncontrollable
Human beings crave stability and certainty. When something unexpected happens, or when someone acts in a way we don’t like, it triggers a sense of vulnerability. Our minds tell us, “Fix it! Change it!”, even when we can’t. This often leads to feelings of anger, sadness, or helplessness. Over time, constantly reacting this way can harm your mental health, leaving you anxious, resentful, and emotionally drained.
The Cost of Fighting the Uncontrollable
When we get overly emotional about things we can’t change, we give away our power. We let external situations determine our mood, energy, and overall well-being. This emotional investment doesn’t solve the problem, it only makes us feel worse. For example:
Traffic Jam? Stressing won’t make the cars move faster.
Someone else’s opinion? Worrying won’t change what they think.
Past mistakes? Regret won’t rewrite history.
In short, fighting reality is a losing battle.
The Key: Radical Acceptance
Radical acceptance is the practice of acknowledging life as it is, without resistance. It doesn’t mean you approve of what happened or that you like it; it means you stop wasting energy trying to control the uncontrollable. When you accept reality, you free yourself from unnecessary suffering.
Ask yourself:
“Can I control this?”
If the answer is yes, take action.
If the answer is no, let go and refocus on what you can control—your attitude, your choices, your next step.
Practical Ways to Stop Getting Emotional Over the Uncontrollable
Pause Before ReactingTake a breath. Give yourself space between the trigger and your response.
Shift Your FocusInstead of dwelling on the problem, ask: “What’s within my control right now?”
Challenge Your ThoughtsWhen you start spiraling, remind yourself: “This is out of my hands. Stressing won’t change it.”
Practice MindfulnessGround yourself in the present. Focus on what you can see, hear, and feel right now.
Set Boundaries with Your EnergyProtect your peace by limiting time spent on things or people you can’t change.
In Conclusion
Your peace of mind is too valuable to hand over to circumstances you can’t control. When you learn to let go, you don’t become careless, you become empowered. Remember: control what you can, accept what you can’t, and focus on building a life that feels good from the inside out.





